The Future of What You Build Depends on the People You Choose
In the past 10 years or so I worked with and advised many tech founders.
Some of my friends became founders too and I’ve seen many startup stories unfold in real time.
And I’ve seen many startups fail too…because let’s be fair - most of them do.
It’s often against the odds for them to succeed really…
Obviously there are many elements contributing to the failure or success of the startup… it’s rarely just one thing.
But to me the one thing that will make or break your success are the people: those you built with and those you build for.
… and finding the right people is the hardest thing to do.
If I have to simplify - it all comes down to relationships – they matter most.
Let’s take as an example the relationship between the co-founders.
Conflicts between them often lead to inevitable split and death of the business.
Obviously it’s hard to predict the future - and we all make mistakes, and sometimes end up with co-founders that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy… (btw if you have a horror story feel free to share them at Rebel Confessions)
but in most cases you can prevent it …
How?
By taking the time to really know and like the person before jumping into co-foundership.
Think about it—before you marry someone, you date them, right? You spend time getting to know them.
Why should starting a business with someone be any different?
A co-founder relationship can be intense. You’re making decisions together and navigating high-pressure situations. If you don’t truly know the person, how can you trust them to have your back when things inevitably get tough… or… not be the one who stabs you in the back…?
Even if you think you know the person please make sure you have the same values.
For example when
and I decided to work on Breaking Chains together we had a call to talk about our values.And I mean all the fundamental values not only in business but also in life.
Because I am convinced that if your values don’t align it’s just a matter of time when you won’t be able to work together anymore.
It’s hard to predict when that moment will come, but it’s almost always just a matter of time.
But it’s not that simple and there is more to it than that…
Sometimes people know what you might be looking for and fake being who you’d like them to be.
If they decide that they need you as a co-founder they’d do anything to eventually trap you into it…
If they think you may get flattered easily - they may use that approach. Come at you with all those compliments and admiration.
If they realize that you may be lonely - they may pretend to be your friend or truly care.
Or if they think you’re one of the insecure types - they’ll strategically work on putting you in a state where you’ll think you can’t do it without them and they are the only person who could help you build your dream.
Yup - tricky to navigate for sure… but you can manage.
Here are a few things that I think might help.
Obviously building up self-confidence and having self-worth is essential since that helps with not falling for the above manipulations.
But also - don’t rush… and observe.
Those values we spoke about and that call we had with
… Each of us could have told pretty much anything… but unless it was backed up by actions and our life examples - that’s all they would be - just words.I observe how people behave in different situations and with different people.
Many may treat me perfectly well… but if I see them treating someone else unfairly for example - I know for a fact that fairness can’t be one of their values - even if they said so.
You can find out so much about people by scrolling their social media feeds, listening to them on X spaces, paying attention to how they behave in group chats, etc…
Being able to read people will save you so much trouble - trust me!
Being skeptical helps too… because let’s be real - if it feels too good to be true most probably it is. If the potential co-founder chases you - they probably need you way more than you need them…
Once you find the co-founder/s the next important thing is the team…and that’s way more complex than paying someone to do the job. And after that you probably want to build a genuine community too…
The above can be a separate topic altogether, so I won’t dive into it yet.
All I will say at this point is that finding the right people is the hardest but at the same time the most important thing to do so. And often it’s impossible to strategize and force… needs to be natural.
But if you put yourself out there, are authentic and share what you are about, build genuine relationships online and IRL, and follow your gut - you’ll eventually attract those who resonate with you.
You never know what it will lead to…
- Ani
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